wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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