you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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