Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
