There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
