hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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