take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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