At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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