I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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