Slut skills are useful in every country.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
