Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I love you. Go after that dick
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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