i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
