I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
worst night to have a conscience
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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