Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Randomize
