I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
