I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
