Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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