buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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