I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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