I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You are the jesus of drinking
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
