I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize