So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
