did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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