i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
