4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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