some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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