Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
