Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
