I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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