Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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