But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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