Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
why is half of my head shaved?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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