It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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