he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
