It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
