ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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