Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
