Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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