So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
