So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
