where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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