I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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