you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
