..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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