The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
