i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
