I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
