a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize