I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
