is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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