I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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