I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
