it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
As shirtless as possible
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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