We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
