how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
