VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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