You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
do nipples grow back?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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