i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
