Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
